Why Did I Take a Break from Social Media?
My social media purge was a direct result of a stark shift in the tone and level of polarization online during the 2020 election and amidst the pandemic. Upon noticing the increased divisiveness in posts and comments, I set out to take a 30-day break from all social media platforms. I enjoyed the purge so much, I continued for a year’s time. Other factors that motivated my purge were:
- I found that I was using social media to regulate my emotions, and that my use increased during the pandemic. As a therapist, this really bothered me. I have to practice what I preach in order to authentically help my clients.
- I simply didn’t feel great after I got off of social media. I tell clients all the time that if a coping skill or self-care activity doesn’t leave you feeling refreshed, then it isn’t serving you. I found that my social media usage left me feeling frustrated, addicted, more anxious, frequently comparing myself to others, and more consumed by what others think.
- I kept craving more, but was bored with more, but still wanted more…doesn’t that sound like an addiction to you? Keep in mind that I don’t consider myself someone who has an “addictive” personality. Social media is designed to be addictive. Those who use social media to excess have FMRI scans similar to those addicted to cocaine due to the way that social media usage short circuits the dopamine response in our brain.
- I was frustrated by a lack of time in my day. This was a big one for me. I realized that I was spending time on social media when I hadn’t had a quality conversation with my spouse yet that day, or hadn’t packed my lunch for the next day, hadn’t spent any time outside, the list goes on and on.
How Did I Stop Using Social Media?
I first got honest with myself. I debunked the justifications I had, which were: “I don’t use it that much”, “I could go without it”, “It doesn’t take up that much of my time”, “It helps me relax”, “It keeps me connected to hobbies/trends”. Another note on addiction: social media has always been addictive, but engagement-based, versus chronological social media added a whole new level of addiction to most every platform. This phenomenon, as well as many other troubling pieces of information regarding addiction are well documented in the Facebook Whistleblower’s testimony, link here.
I then considered which platforms I had, how and why I used them, and which I felt most addicted to. Just like I tell clients, problematic use versus addiction to a substance is a spectrum that can be difficult to delineate, but is made more simple by asking yourself how are you using that substance – what is happening for you when you turn to it, and what are you hoping to gain from using it? I found that I was looking for a “boost” when I turned to Facebook, Pinterest, or Instagram. This is not overall a terrible strategy; pictures of friends, families, or animals, funny reels and pointed memes can have a positive effect, sometimes. The issue is that an uplifting post can quickly be followed by a post that angers you, that triggers self-deprecating thoughts, etc., so my social media use was often putting me on an emotional roller coaster rather than calming my emotions. I knew there were better ways to “get a boost” than fueling this addiction.
Then I went cold turkey from the heavy hitters: Facebook and Instagram. I found that I used Pinterest to search for specific ideas, but did not use it to mindlessly scroll. I told my close friends and family what I was doing, for both accountability and to stay connected to those in my inner circle.
What Did I Learn From My Social Media Fast?
I learned quickly that I really was addicted – my fingers remembered exactly where those apps were and went to them regularly! I noticed a significant shift after two weeks of no use. My brain and body stopped looking to social media for that boost. A friend of mine purged at the same time that I did, and she noticed the same shift around the two week mark. If you are trying to do a temporary detox, I recommend doing so for at least two weeks.
I also noticed some overwhelming positive effects:
- Woah, the mental clarity, confidence, and TIME it opened up!
- I slept better, and I didn’t even have significant trouble sleeping before the purge.
- I started my day less overwhelmed, more centered, and more focused.
- Not using social media fostered more genuine connection with my inner circle. My friends and family sent me posts that they knew I would want to see, and texted or called to tell me news directly so that I wouldn’t feel left out. If you purge and this doesn’t happen for you, please utilize your assertiveness skills to express your feelings to those in your inner circle.
- I got bored sometimes, and learned that navigating boredom is a skill that I needed to practice. I also learned that the creativity and connection that boredom opens up is a gift. I doodled on my notepads more often, which I hadn’t enjoyed since high school; I carried a book in my purse to read if I had down time or had to wait somewhere; I connected with people in the grocery store, waiting rooms, etc. whom I would not have said hello to if I had my head in my phone; what I did the most was spend more time outside. I very frequently would look outside and notice the foliage around me, or take a short walk outside when I had a brief window to do so. I believe that navigating boredom is such an important skill for both adults and children to learn. For me it opened up more mindfulness about the world around me, which gave me the “boosts” I was looking for all along.
I did eventually miss some things (celebrating others’ milestones, reaching out to extended family members, being informed of losses and births, etc.), which informed how I returned to social media. I set a lot more boundaries when I returned. I reduced the number of accounts I followed, I reduced the number of platforms I used (now only one!), and I reduced when I allow myself to use social media. The most helpful boundary I set was when to engage; I do my best not to use social media upon waking or right before bed.
Whether this post inspires you to detox from social media or set more boundaries, I think both are important skills to practice in today’s ever-connected world. If you find yourself struggling with similar issues and would like assistance from a licensed therapist at Cedar Counseling & Wellness, getting started is simple. You can call our Annapolis practice at (443) 924-6344, email info@cedarcounselingandwellness.com, or complete our online contact form to get in touch.
About the Author:
Caroline Fowler is a Maryland Board approved Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical (LCSW-C) therapist at Cedar Counseling & Wellness. Caroline specializes in providing compassionate care to individuals who have experienced direct trauma, secondary trauma, and/or chronic stress.
